Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This girl is more easily done than said...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
