I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I need a beard to bite.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
