so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
