it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize