Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
