Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
