if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I had to cum in my sink.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
