She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize