You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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