I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
