Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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