Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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