recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize