Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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