wakey wakey hands off snakey
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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