as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
is it fun? or sober?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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