She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
