In the future we'll all be gay
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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