Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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