Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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