So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
