fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This baby is an asshole
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
