We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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