We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
