So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
