Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
