New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
