he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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