Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You did what with his pubic hair?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
