Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
