i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
