how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
operation have a gay friend backfired
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
