It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
