the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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