She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
