Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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