I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
