As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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