he shaved USA in his pubs
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
