What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
