I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
