I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
