I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
