Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize