That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
