The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
