We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Randomize
