He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just blew my weed a kiss
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
