I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
