What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
