You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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