If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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