You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
