I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
