My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
