So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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