If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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