Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
