States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
