He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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