After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize