the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
