You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
