Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
