OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
